“How dare I!” I thought. Now I was being reckless. “God forgive me.” I cried out. “I can’t believe that I just got finish spending all that time with You in prayer and in Your Word; and yet I am seeking a senseless victory of the flesh having no real meaning whatsoever and one that would result in no real joy of the soul." "Jesus!” I cried out, “I need you all the time.” "I just got finish spending time with You, and look at me!" Not only did I feel foolish by my - now - reckless actions, but I was also very disappointed in myself feeling far removed from the woman of God I proclaim to be. It would have been a shallow and senseless victory of the flesh as well as an avoidable defeat in the spirit. Unbelievable!
You see, I am convinced that the Christian journey is not about living life perfectly – because we can’t - nor is it about the Christian thinking him or herself more highly than another since he nor she is not. I believe it is more so a fluid and colorful journey with God that continues to expose us to ourselves while ultimately leading and guiding us to a better way. It is a more holistic and three-dimensional journey with the Holy Spirit which challenges us to be more humble, compassionate, forgiving, and empathetic towards others and ourselves. A journey that if we continue to seek God's face will lead us to those wonderful fruits of the spirit that most believers desire to taste and see. Be encouraged Brothers and Sisters in Christ! God is not through with us yet.
"But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23)