Modulating Tones

(Others shown are unidentified and appear only as part of the public setting.) This photo was taken during my time in the Army; sitting in an NCO club in Germany, drinking with a group of men. From the outside, it looks like a carefree moment - a normal social scene that hid what was really going on inside me. At the time, drinking Jack Daniels and Coke and smoking Newport cigarettes had become part of my everyday life. Those habits felt normal then, but they couldn’t help me with what was broken inside. Getting a man was never my problem - and I’m not bragging, just stating a fact.  Four men asked me to marry them. I accepted one proposal in an effort to change myself. Even with a candlelight wedding planned, it became clear that pretending could not bring peace, and it was called off.   But I did not desire men the way I desired women. I share this about the men only to clarify that availability was never the issue and that my struggle did not begin by choice. What G...